Letter to Laddu 2/3/24

 Hi my laddu 

I don’t know how I can explain my behaviour for the past two days . I was myself not comfortable with this entire trip and was anxious on going back to Uk and moving and all . On top of that I found that I am not having proper connect with you . But I did what in my next conscious or what came into my mind . May be I didn’t just stop and think that I need to talk to R during the trip . I couldn’t cause I was in public and I was always rushing . 

Now you might say 15 mins here or 30 mins there . Then this put me in a further crazy state of mind . I feel sorry for not considering you in my actions . May be I was just selfish . I got angry at myself and also you that and go into justification mode . I then started saying I am with you for the past 1 hr , what you want to talk etc . 

But dear every step from airport or changing train you were asking me to stop and take time . But honestly I didn’t think that way . I wanted to go and get the moving started . That is all i thought . I was thinking in between I will talk . 

But again we were just talked about what i could have done , which again frustrated me . 

I think this incident will impact you in some way cause I was out of my mind . But it will sure impact me on how i should choose my interactions with you . 

All I can see it is just a clear case of mis communication and managing the communication. It is completely my mistake , may be I was not in the right frame of my mind .

I hope and beg that you can give me one more chance .

I would like to promise that something of this kind will never ever happen again . 

Sorry that I broke your heart with my words . I am so sorry . 

Love you my laddu 

My kanmani 

kills 

j