My Man

20/7/2024

 Dear Bhartha,

1st of all thank you for coming all the way to see me with a love letter in hand.

Jaanu u were not acting weird, u were showing ur version of affection by taking care.. holding umbrella, helping while getting down and all.. ofcourse i like it but y i was feeling awkward bcoz u r MY MAN mere kandhe(shoulder) se khandhe milake chalna chahiye..not peeche ya something..its my respect to my bharta..i don't like u doing my seva...

Yesterday still feels like a dream...the weather, u, breeze and the location..i was just wishing y cant i hold my jaanu in my arms and lap all my life.. stupid u asked me daily kesari chayiye if u with me..sirf kesari kyun re...all u wish mein banake dungi... ur fav dish R also will be served daily..

Wen i saw u in airport my heart beat raises just like in SG, i couldn't express bcoz wat i said(v ll part ways)..the joy i saw in pune airport was missing as u were sad but got to witness it wen u saw range rover...i can do anything re to witness that joy in ur eyes...my jaanu .u ve no Idea wat u mean to me .wat u see through my actions is just 30.. percent i guess due to my limitations...else R real taj mahal hi khada karegi for u...yes as i regretted i couldn't kiss u properly yest...can sacrifice my fav food but not the way v make love to each other..but with my teeth i felt yest i wasn't upto the mark..

Y u keep saying u don't deserve itna love and all or u did something good last janam..pagal u did and doing good iss janam by helping..u did only 1 big mistake in life sirf woh pakadke u cant loose a part of u re...

I AM SORRY for the way i behaved from 1 week.

J, wen i made promises in may as bharya after wearing ring i meant it. Mere jaan bhi kurban re for ur happiness and peace...tho how ll i go away from u bolo...

I will always be ur backbone in ur every mission.

To be continued...by eyes closing off.. its risk to continue 

Bye gn for now 

21/7/2024- 7 am having chai in Irani cafe and writing..

J, weather is sooo good and romantic..my mood..be in ur arms cuddle a lot in blanket and mast chi chi, nap..

Followed by chai made by ur bharya..

22/7/2024- 6 30 pm

You called me in irani cafe and i couldn't continue.

J, i know 1 week se i was saying i will go away or stop talking, disconnecting..all these maybe to know mere naa rehne se tumhe kuch farak padega ya nahi ya will u choose me even i beg so much or do anything to keep me in ur life ..i tried a lot re ..bola no chi chi with M, 6 months salary or 1 year in SG, resign cbre and all..i was getting hurt and hurting u as well..then i quit re..i felt shayad tum mujhe jaane dege i lost karke..

But in parallel world there was ur bharya who was praying- u keep ur job so ur purpose will be solved..who was drinking pineapple juice daily, counting days to be in ur proximity, hug u tightly, planning 4.3 trip, booking Vivanta..

How u thought i ll go away from u..it would happen only wen i die..i never removed the ring.. sorry for all the pain i caused..not intentionally but was seeking validation may be..or felt u took me for granted.

J, none other than me can understand u ur situation better re..i would never wish u go through the pain again and loose a part of u re..but as a bharya i yearn to be with u re.. doesn't feel like sharing u re..i know wat u r doing for me..ur efforts.. don't think i m not seeing wat u doing for me and its only wat u couldn't do .

All one week i was feeling..my jaanu doesn't need anything except thoda sa pyaar..

Yesterday during cycling u were saying about plan and helping all..wat i felt later is u might not keep anything for u..even to start business or whatever u want to buy..be it a good hearing aid.

So i told i want 1k pound just to keep it aside for u.. mera koi plan nahi hai re..R ko kuch nhi chayiye..r just needs u and humhara adventures nd apna chota sa ghar..i thought that 4L and 1L every month i can keep for our adventures or buy u something which u want but never bought like bullet, hearing aid and mainly the memories together as all 18 years u just struggled to repay loan and never did anything for urself..so R wants all best things in the Worlds should happen with J and strength to me to be ur pillar and make it happen.Jo bhi hai humhara re always kabhi tumhara and mera nahi hoga between us..and i wasn't making any backup plan re..i have a job even if M throw me out i think i should be able to manage.

When i say talk about ur land to papa , i think its ur hatd earned money..40L is big amount..u can use it to help anyone for 10 months with 1k pound each and stop working extra those 10 months..so why to leave it as it is ..

U said God didn't give u purpose..kids blah blah.He sent me to take care of u nd u should take care of me(us) too..so ur new purpose is R, our adventures and manifesting a life together after few years 

I want to be ur support system in whatever u want to do.. nothing more than ur happiness , peace matters to me dear. 

Life is really beautiful with u jaanu...

Waiting for our wish to fulfill 

Will keep waiting - ur bharya

I love you 😘

Dil se SORRY for the pain i gave u🙏