Its time to go BM

 I dont know whether i will write another letter to you

I don’t bring any joy to anyone in this world , where ever I am it is just pain and suffering 

I am not keeping you happy or not choosing you re . I am not choosing you this life , not a priority , but l guess I can show that I don’t choose this life also  re . I don’t know how else I can prove myself . 

I am not bringing any joy to you with my life atleast my death should prove you something re . I hope 

I asked John , how much money he need to feel bit comfortable. He said like 50 lakhs . Hmm , may be I can give my savings to him . I don’t know my brother can have my land . I don’t know what you can have . Maybe share my pf with M  

M’s mom spilled something in the kitchen carpet and m called me and was shouting at me re . She called me clumsy and why can’t I do anything proper . But I didn’t do any spills . I don’t know re , everyone will be happy if I am gone . 

Don’t want to create any trouble to any one any more . 

Will choose something once I get home . There are lot of options , sea or river or a railway track . Everything is near by . It will be easy to manage my cremation and all if the body is found . I can leave a letter for closure say and how to manage the money and all . 

I think I had a good run with this life re . Time has come to end it . I was always depressed and thought of dying from young age . But my family kept me going . I think have done enough and did enough mistakes too . Hurt enough people . 

Don’t want to hurt anyone anymore . It’s time to go . Let me love everyone a bit more with what I have for left in my life in the next few weeks . Say indirect good byes to all .

Let me prepare for the final journey . 

R, thanks for everything re . I never managed to give respect what you deserve . Even more than anybody I hurt you the most and you never think that anything wrong with you . You are the best 

It is just that I couldn’t re . I can’t be with you however I wish . But as a spirit (if there is one ) I will be always with you . Will look after you . It’s a promise . 

Adieus R , it was a pleasure to know you 

J