Letter to B 23/03/2024

Hey B 

15th Day and you are celebrating. :) .. Happy for you.. 

 I couldn't stick to my morning routine today. Had to sleep long. It was nice talking to you and yeah felt good about going into my space with you few times. 

Yeah , I have deleted them all now even from trash bin. I will not take any more, promise. 

My ambition since my college days is to "become free" . 

which means I can do what ever I want as I wish with out worrying about money or job or such things. 

I want to go anywhere I want to go at any time. I want to be with any one who needs me or whom I need whenever I wish too. 

The above is easy to achieve ( if I become real expert in some important Skill) but I dont know what my real interest is ( I am still a generalist), I am still trying to identify what is that important skill I need to focus on or other options is to make crazy amount of money which also I am not sure how. Yeah I am bit lost on a strategy to achieve my ambition at this point. But I am in a good place now and I just need to keep going. build on what I have came so far and dont do anything stupid. 

My brother had a bizarre situation with his current flat mates and he managed it well though. 

He is moving out from the current place and went out for a dinner with the flatmates. They are young fellows have not seen or experienced what we did. 

They were telling him it is a stupid idea for him to come all this way to NZ to do his studies. My Bro is acting like an Ambani to spend all the money to get a college degree. It is of no use. you are out of your mind etc etc. I am glad the way my bro handled the situation, given his temper he would have given it back to those guys. But he kept quiet 

Those guys have not idea what we went through when we were younger. My bro could have done this degree thing when he was younger but he had other priorities and commitments. Anyways people wont understand our journey but it is not fair that they can comment the way they please. Stupid people. 

it is good that he ignored them. it is good that he learning to embrace silence than reacting to stupid people. 

And yeah, I have tiny eeny peeny jealousy when you talk about Itihaas purush , but that is cause I am also human and I dont know what you have for him( or may be I will never be able to understand). But please dont let that stop you from telling me what you feeling, I would love to listen. 

You need to tell me your ambition. dont give me drama Answers. I want you to be something so that you can control your freedom as you wish ( I can benefit from that too, :)) 

With Lots and lots of  hate 

J