Life : Enjoy or Endure

 16 March 23 ;  Our True lives , which one is real.. Reflections on relationships 

we have a life which we live 

which others know us by 

then we have another one 

which belongs to our true self 

Now Among this two which is real ?

the one others know and experience us 

or the one which we experience 

on our own 

I will try to answer the question in another letter may be. 

if I manage to find one

what I wanted to tell you about is something else

which came to me when I was 

running today morning 

I remember telling you that 

I was asking myself while running (few days ago)

"Am I enjoying the run or enduring it" 

Then I linked that question to life 

Am I enjoying my life or enduring it 

What I had to add on to above today is, an answer.

which is,  "life could be a mix of both" 

sometimes you enjoy things 

as you might be in a comfort zone 

Some other times you may need to endure 

cause you would have put yourself in 

some difficult tough and daring situations

may be you are trying to experience something new 

Now my conclusion, as an insight was 

Enduring life situations may be just like enduring a long stretch/curve in a 5K run 

Enduring situations can be approached with a taste of delayed gratification

what I mean going through enduring situation is just like a hike up a hill/mountain

you may need to enjoy the journey as you go + stay excited about the view from the top

In short, you need to enjoy the endurance situations too

I wanted to bring this to the context of our connection 

we choose this situation , we knew this is not a comfortable arrangement

and it could be painful to drift apart as we move on 

but I would endure it with the memories we had 

and the hope of seeing you again in some near future

I would be able to endure it with a smile in my face 

which could pop up  when I think about you 

I would be able to endure by going back to redolent memories 

of how you smelled when I was holding you tight and many more

(Note: redolent : fragrant or sweet-smelling. , I googled it , will save you the effort) 

and BM, I will push myself with every cell in my body 

to put me in a position where I will be able 

to be yours whenever possible.