journey called life

Tuesday, April 09, 2024

Letter to BM 9/4/2024

 Hey B 

I made chai in the morning. tried without sugar but then realised chai is not good without little bit of sugar. 

I managed to pull myself today and go to workplace after so long time. I guess I will fall back to my routine of 2 days at least a week for days to come. Office was empty not much people may be cause it is a holiday tomorrow. 

I thought about you , when I applied sunscreen, while drinking water in the glass which had the flowers, when I wore the watch, when I was in the train, when it was 11:30 , in teams, in Zoom , between calls and chat I was looking for you. sometimes I found you in insta, or in the blog replies. every time I had your thought I tried to focus more on the work to not miss you. it is what it is what to do. 

I feel like I am on a spell ( lost in your thoughts) and I dont know what will cure me . may be I dont want to be cured but stay like this. 

hmm, someone is worried the collab pic is not visible to everyone. I was just checking cause you said  you liked some pics of AC so was curious which one was it. I think I am more of a stalker than you now. 

As I told you someone stole D's house owner car. it was very unfortunate. I saw CL in office today like a glimpse wanted to show to you but couldnt. 

V sometime springs surprises and always think that it is ok to do so. we can discuss this on details on Thursday. The project suddenly became bit more engaging, to may Co ordination to do. 

This training I am not able to follow, very technical and hands on.  I will drop off. will go sleep now. 

I dont know how many times I read reply your yesterday's letter. It felt so special . thanks for pouring your heart out into words. 

Day without you felt like a chai without sugar... 

and when I saw you wearing what I got for you that too in a dress which you carry so elegantly, I felt so happy. you look different when your eyes are lined and with the pottu . gives more depth to your eyes where I keep falling into always, lucky that I know swimming else I would have drowned already. you hair is still short I love it. but most I like was your lips today and I missed them the most. EH is waiting.. 

thanks for the pics you shared, I am looking at it right now and just thinking how lucky I am to have you. 

Looking forward to a Friday in near future to be near to you. 

with hate and hugs 

J

Note; can I just come this weekend :) 

posted by enjoyinlife at 11:00 AM

2 Comments:

  • I had written below wen i woke up from the bed..kept in my drafts.

    "Good morning J, someone told me today vishu once u open the eyes have to see lord Krishna.But when i woke up someone special's face came in front of me without even opening my eyes... Happy Vishu dear.
    I wanted to sleep more but woke up may be my biological cycle to wake up early.
    Now i realised though apart i was still staying with u bcoz u were just a video call away..be it morning after i wake up ya before going to bed.

    Today appears to be different..M in gym still i m not calling ya msging u.. let's experience waiting period too and i want u to focus..but i already started missing u... nevertheless u ll be in back of my mind so R can wait.

    Hope u went to office and didn't skip like last time. Dihearea pain is better but not fully gone, today 1 day i have to go through it.

    Daily time used to fly like fraction of seconds..today appears to be a long day... let's see how it goes.I am excited today, u will get to know when i VC u."

    So i was excited to wear someone's gift.. got up from bed and went to login seedha to see someone online.. opened the zoom felt like calling as it was my chai time. U pinged tho acha laga.. after logging off felt that v ve something in common now at work so i can look for u there atleast but wat after that..just keep waiting till i hear from u.

    Maybe i forced detox to practice slow burn and u to focus on work else could ve msged, called u..bcoz of it i was getting irritated with smaill things..just kept myself busy 1st half i kitchen.

    Then took shower and wore ur gift tho bohat acha laga..u were looking great in red..v kinda twinned today.. seeing u i felt so good... couldn't talk made me feel incomplete today..
    Took advantage of chances i got to vc u..2nd half i didn't force myself to stay away from u which made be bit relaxed.

    The way u kept staring at me all the time showed in ur eyes how much u misses me today.

    My J became poet today(i know swimming else drowned)..loved it.. J, 1st person to give me flowers.. Thank you..

    It's not even a week away from u feels like months i am away from u.. while i was there after sun .. Monday felt like i m there with u from a week..how is this so strange..

    Slowburn kaise kare pata nahi ..v can i know provided v r around each other..maybe a normal talk for 5 mins atleast else uneasy feel hota hai atleast mujhe..

    AC ka kuch nahi and colab not visible to all i m not concerned..he wanted to post i just allowed, now he doesn't want to show made private.. its ok abhi farak nahi padta hai.

    You had asked na if AC comes back then i might not be the same with u ..as u won't be reachable whenever i need and i have someone to share tho answer sun lo.. no one can take ur space.. how much ever i have to wait i will and R's eyes will be just looking for u.. only u my love .

    Really in a spell, i never felt like this before... every beat of my heart u were with me today in my thoughts.

    After AC ya last may ke baad there was still frequency/intensity with M...but now just like u facing bit difficult ..hmmm...just felt like sharing u..never have been in hate with 2 at a time..

    It will go away i guess the pagalpan we have now...but at the same time i doubt as hate is growing deeper and deeper.

    I m not thinking anything now ..just going with the flow .. EH ko mein bhi miss karti hoon. last week he was busy killing someone at this time..

    Thank you J for everything.. Heart says yes come this sat.. mind says no let's wait till fri... listening to mind as i don't want u to travel all the way till here.. concerned about ur energy, time and money .. virtually with u i ll be sat whole day... getting lost in my KA's eye..

    Could feel u through my earring...yes J is with me..hate u a lot....a lot Is less ..

    Chalo let me finish the movie and sleep...while watching movie felt J ko bhi R- robot gift karna chahiye..

    Nyt nyt...

    R




    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:20 PM  

  • It feels so special to get a letter back from you B. No one wrote back to me before .
    I am glad I could get your flowers and will do always.
    Haha , A robot , nah , I want you .


    No news on the contract , hmm , that means I will be staying little longer . can visit B , once a month atleast .. cool ..

    I wish we could settle down on the slow burn soon don’t want to be restless like this cause we miss each other terribly .

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 5:41 PM  

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