Letter to Kanmani 1/7/24

 Hey laddu my kanmani 

i can say that i didnt expect my scenario will be when i came over. i was trying to get into the routine and i had my struggles. but more than me you struggled alot. all the while i was giving an impression that i am reaching out you only when i have spare time and clearly on certain situation i am not keeping you as a priority. this all will give you an impression that i am just finding excuse to stay away from your or not interested in you. 

I agree i have failed on certain occasions to put you first that i only because i dont wanted any trouble or unwanted attention on what i am doing. the toll my actions had on you is more than that i can imagine. i am sorry for not being a good companion. 

i am kept busy , i need to focus on finishing my stuff, moving forward i might struggle to even find few minutes to talk to you. even you are going to go to office and try a new routine. Dear i have nothing but  my gratitude to give you back for all your efforts. my love also not even enough. i am a clear red flag for you as a partner still you decide to stick with me. 

but i hope all this are just temporary, things will change soon . i may go back to SG soon and i hope i will be atleast reachable to you. i hope so . 

i will go sleep now. you take care tomorrow. please dont take any risks. take it easy. 

i enjoyed all the reels you sent to me and i am just thinking and praying your wishes will come true. i dont know how. let me wish with you too.

i am still not feeling that great. i hope to recover fully tomorrow. 

love you Laddy 

J 

even while typing this i am scared that M might come in to the room anytime. i am sorry.