Letter to BM 23/6/24

 Dear laddu

May be you are right I don’t hold close to me as mine hence I don’t have that jealousy feeling of sharing you with others . But then if you were just mine for real of course it could have hurt me more or may be I experienced it before and my mind don’t want to be there 

It says that a cat which drink hot milk and got burned will never touch the milk again . May be mind gets that muscle memory where it recognise a painful pattern and choose not to experience that pain 

Dh is recovering I guess but today also she had pain and relying on pain killers 

I don’t know I am not able to accept that something wrong could happen . Even few months back when our grandpa was terribly sick and in ICU and all . Everyone kinda prepared to let him go . But I was like nothing will happen why you guys being so dramatic. I was making fun of my brother( he cried a bit it seems ) . I don’t know re , may be I will be the one who might miss them all the most when they are gone . I don’t know 

Your dreams of us being together . I don’t have anything dear . All I think have could be gone in seconds . I am just saying I will give you may be for now . I don’t know about tomorrow . But I do believe god will provide . He won’t leave us behind . I pray . 

You are right that we don’t know about he future . Being together is our destiny the so shall be it . But as I said I really pray that you don’t have to go through that journey of separation and all . I have explained in details about my journey . I don’t wish that for you . 

I am and always will be with you . 

Love you 

J