letter to BM 28/4/24 - Part 2

 Hi Laddu 

I miss you terribly , I know it is just been a day since I been with you and I am not allowed to experience such emotions. but I am struggling to push your thoughts away from my head. I really hate you for making me like this. I am not able to manage this intense desire to hold you and talk to you, to spend every minute looking in to your eyes and you know etc etc 

I know I should man up and act tough and dont vent my emotions much but let me do this for the one last time. 

I feel breathless every moment

I was driving after long time and was supposed to focus 

but you are there in my mind, I am thinking when I will be able to 

make you sit beside me and go for a long drive or look at you while driving. 

I want you to be my strength but your absence make me week. 

Your smell is still with me and your taste my girl I have in my lips. 

They say(insta story), Let a girl be comfortable and develop trust on you 

then you will know how freaky a girl can get. 

Now I am there and I am experiencing life in a different level with you 

I really hate and refuse to go , I want to stay in this trance

but then it is the punishment that I have to bear for not waiting for you to happen in my life 

I could have just stayed as your Secret BF forever if I waited. 

The punishment for not waiting is that I need to bear a long distance virtual connection with you 

might not be able to see you in real much for good part of next couple of years probably.

But I do want to come after 720 odd days to be more closer to you, so that I can see you more often.

please save your freakiness and energy till then.. 

Ok there ends my venting out and I am not gonna talk about this anymore.. 

Note: I dont know what I was trying to tell you about elegance and all . May be I was trying to influence you or motivate you in some way but it was kinda forced and not really organic. you my girl, are a one unique piece our good Lord has created with his own hands. 

PS:  I would assume AC is Gay for noticing and commenting on girls looks and clothes. Guys do really do that?  it is not coming to me naturally to be honest. But I do want to express what I am feeling in words.  May be I am just not looking enough  or not have multiple threaded thoughts. when I look at you all I can think is "lord, how on earth I get to talk to and be with such a beautiful girl and she must be really insane to choose me out of all to connect with" .. nah nothing else comes to my mind and I go into that zone of just looking at you in trance.  I look at you and I get lost in your eyes and I cant notice nothing else.. 

The movie was normal. Not that great. it was good. dinner was ok. I didnt eat much. 

Now I am sleepy. 

Nyt Nyt R 

hates and Lots of hugs 

J